biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
