I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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