I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
