WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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