Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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