Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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