its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It's rum buckets o'clock
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I want a musical about memes.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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