hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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