I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
