I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
