Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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