so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize