I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
