yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
