Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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