I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
