dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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