Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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