She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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