chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
