I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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