i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
