why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
