He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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