That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
