Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
