hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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