I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
