How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
