Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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