she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
