He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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