sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
