Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I wish i was in the wii world.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize