So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Rumble strips road head = magical
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
