the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize