i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Panties = found
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
