A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
