when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
