Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize