hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
