STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
from now on my penis is your penis
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
