my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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