I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She told me I should be a condom model.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
