What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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