I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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