Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
