go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
