Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
