A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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