I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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