ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
