curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
