another moral hangover. fuck.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
