My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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