I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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