I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
