also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
