I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
