I've blown a few things in my day
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He felt like a one man threesome
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Success! We fucked roommates!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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