There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
