mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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