You're completely useless in the revolution.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Come share oat with me in your robe
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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