I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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