This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
