I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
