I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
