I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Duck Duck Cougar?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
