just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You need Xanax blowdarts
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize