**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
