Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize