i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
