You really coming over, don't trick.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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