Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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