apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
