Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
