you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
