I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
