Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
