i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
