you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
